• JC

Douce Douce for Webb to Close out Father’s Day by Lighthouse...

Excited...but sad all at the same time. Why you ask?…

I’m excited we have fans back. I mean they are sitting in lawn chairs, drinking cold fancy Cougar Juice.


Alright you ask what Cougar Juice is? Well it's fancy Chardonnay from Rombauer… If you're feeling fancy or if you're ready to tame Karin, go to Rombauer and let them know The Boys at The Aloha Press sent you…


But we have fans back. I heard some cheers, golf claps, but nothing that screamed “You SUCK you JACKASS!” Until this happens, golf isn’t quite back. For further details please refer to the image below…


But I (JC) am sad because we should have been watching the boys at Winged Foot Golf Club in Mamaroneck, N.Y. spending the following weeks talking about how hard the course was or how Phill won his first U.S. Open. Just being optimistic.. Rescheduled for September 14, 2020


Instead, Webb Simpson threw down a final round 64 to get him to Douce Douce and the WIN.


Webb fought off some tough competition down the stretch...

From Daniel Berger chipping in on 17 (-20), Tyrrell Hatton anger-banging it down to (-20), but the most impressive was Abrham Ancer (-21). Ancer hit 18 of 18 greens in regulation, but he did it with a topped 3 wood out of the bunker on hole #2, which made me feel good about my game, lol.


Besides that, Webb just kicked ass! He birdied the last seven holes.


Webb walked away with 1.2 million dollars and a sweet table cloth. I mean Jacket.


But why were last week's winner and Webb matching?


Well, I did some investigative journalism and learned if you watch 4 minutes of ads, you learn Colonial makes a special jacket with their own fancy fabric that no one can buy.


But at the RBC Heritage, the jacket takes 12 hours to make and it costs approximately $400. So, no significance between the jackets.


So if you want one, get really good at golf and win at Colonial or Harbour town. OR say Fxxk it and buy one today. Aloha Press lazy winners tablecloth jacket. GET YOURS TODAY! (This is not a real thing, but if you buy it through this link, I get nothing… But please put it on instagram and tag THE ALOHA PRESS…)


Some notable scores this week:

Brooks Koepka 7th

Justin Thomas T8

Bryson Hefty Hefty DeChambeau T8

Rory McLlroy T41

Gary Woodland T64

Jordan Spieth T68


Things that you missed, but we didn’t..


The Microphones picked up all kinds of bad words this week…

I realized these dudes are more like us...

Rory: “Every fucking time.” - Driver pushed right.

Harold: “Oh fuck me, mumble mumble.” - Iron pulled into the shit.

Unknown golfer (at my home course): “What the fuck are you doing? Hitting it fat all day.”


Oh golf, you have to love the blow ups.


But the PGA Tour got real serious this week. After round one, Nick Watney tested positive for Covid-19. Sergio Garcia stated in an article by golfdigest, he gave Nick a ride in his private jet but they both tested negative when they landed on Tuesday. Nick had to withdraw from the event and self-quarantine in South Carolina.


But what is the PGA Tour going to do?…

Are they going to keep the fans away even longer?

I have a feeling this is a small speed bump for the tour.

Professional golf is a business, and it's not California, so I believe they are going to move forward as planned.


Looking into the future…

This week the PGA Tour Tee’s it up at Travelers Championship at TPC River Highlands.


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Email JC at jc@thealohapress.com or TEXT/CALL @ 209-256-2696



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